In Which I Shamelessly Plug My Own Show

Shakespeare has always held a special fascination for me. Even in high school, when everyone else dreaded reading Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet, I relished in it. There was something so rich and enduring about the words, the stories, and the people.

But I have seen Shakespeare done badly, in a way that completely justifies the intense hatred so many people have of The Bard and his works. Which is why, when you find a company that does Shakespeare right, you do everything you can to make sure they keep at it!

I have spent the last two months in the presence of such people, and tonight we open our production of Two Gents: A Coming of Age Tale in Iambic Pentameter (aka Two Gentlemen of Verona.) It is full of people with such talent that I consider it an honor to be one of them. But it needs your help.

Live theatre has many setbacks, and just one of them is finding the right venue. And, in our case, funding said venue. I understand that times are tight, for everyone, so if you can't donate PLEASE, share our page. And maybe those who are in a position to help will find it in their hearts to help make this company's dreams a reality.

Every dollar helps, and every single donation is appreciated a thousand times over.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/585711469/two-gents-venue-support?ref=city

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It is no secret that I'm a narration snob. I don't generally enjoy first-person, and I certainly have no patience for present-tense. And OMNISCIENT present-tense? Forget about it! It's nothing but a clever little gimmick to hide the fact that you don't have a compelling story.

Oh how very wrong I was with The Night Circus. When a book I am pre-disposed to hate keeps me so engrossed, so wrapped up that I can't sleep at night, that writer has created something truly magical. And the Night Circus was nothing but magic, with every turn of every page. It wasn't just a book I enjoyed reading, it was a book I let myself drown in. A book that I couldn't wait to return to at the end of work, or even during work. Every free moment I could spare was spent in the black-and-white mysteries of "Le Cirque des Reves..." The circus of dreams.

So come on in. Let yourself wander between the tents and get swept up in the show. It is a spellbinding, haunting journey that you won't soon forget.


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Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Flight!

"Now, I'm his ghost. That's not difficult. It's unbearable. I know everyone is proud of him, but I am not. And I do not wish him well." -- Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy

"All We Need is a Witch Doctor in the Corner"

In the ever-expanding category of "proverbial straws to break this poor little camel's back," the most recent one is also, perhaps, the most absolutely ridiculous. I won't bore you with the details of every little thing that's made me want to crawl in a hole and die lately, just the most recent one.

My living room is a swamp. Or, "the bayou" as we've come to affectionately call it. Through a series of complicated and annoying electrical issues, there is a pool forming under our living room carpet. It causes deep puddles to seep up through our floor, squish between our toes, and make a generally smelly mess. It has also caused our power bill to soar sky high, seeing as a) it seems to be an air conditioner issue and b) the drying process requires us to run the air conditioner three days straight without stopping, as low as it can go.

And so, today finds the residents of the bayou eating pizza, watching as numerous repairmen traipse through the house making conflicting suggestions, and keeping an eye out for gators.

And while our bayou may not have a chorus of helpful fireflies, we do have the ever-so-pleasant hum of two industrial driers, 24-hours a day! And that sweet, swampy smell of breeding mold. And the freezing cold gusts of wind from every vent. Wouldn't you want to live here?

Confessions of a Homeless Housewife : Part II

I think one of my problems is, I am domestic in spurts. I'll have these great surges of homemakerish energy, where I feel inclined to sew, bake, organize, or bedazzle anything in sight.

It's rather like nesting, but without the egg.

If I could find a way to be consistently domestic ... to channel my love of cupcakes into opening up a little bakery. Or sew things for an Etsy shop, as I have tried and failed to do at least half a dozen times. If I could just make it all a regular part of my life ... maybe then, something good would come of it.

I've always loved the fact that I'm interested in a lot of things. I dabble in many hobbies, I explore different professions and pastimes ... but the unfortunate truth is, sometimes that makes for simply mediocre performance in many areas, rather than exquisite performance in one. I cannot make a living with my hobbies and my sporadic passions. I cannot settle down enough to dedicate my time to simply one thing. And as such, I never seem to improve in any of them.

Three cheers for substandard creativity.

"Bloody Jack"

Bloody Jack: Being an Account of the Curious Adventures of Mary "Jacky" Faber, Ship's Boy by L.A. Meyer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was an "Audible" find for me ... while I was sifting through endless samples, looking for a narrator I can even halfway tolerate. I'm frighteningly picky about narrators ... especially the women.

But Katherine Kellgren, who reads the entire "Bloody Jack" series, was a revelation. She brought to life perfectly an already gripping and thrilling adventure. Had I not stumbled upon her voice, I would never have been introduced to Mary "Jacky" Faber, or "Bloody Jack." The star of our series. A young orphan girl, who leaves her miserable life as an urchin beggar behind and, disguised as a boy, enlists in the King's Navy as a ship's boy.

What I expected to be a fairly routine and cookie-cutter story turned out instead to be an absolutely delightful read. (Or, in my case, listen.) I was surprised at how quickly it roped me in, and how easily I got lost in the sails and polished decks of the HMS Dolphin.

So hoist the mainstay, veer to starboard, and smooth sailing soldiers! Ride the rolling tide to your nearest bookstore, and start readin' those letters! Captain's orders! And if you're pressed for time, ask Katherine Kellgren. She'll do the reading for you!


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Confessions of a Homeless Housewife

While I was opening my fourth baking-related gift of the day on Christmas, my mother said, "Who would have ever thought that Kaitlin would grow up to be so domestic?"

The answer to that is : nobody.

I was the type who wasn't going to get married until I was 35. I hated dresses, I despised wearing white because I was a notoriously messy child, and "helping" with dinner was simply a clever ruse to hide my taste-testing everything in sight.

But I got married at 19. I started cooking, and actually enjoying it. I sew for fun (heck, I have my own machine and dress dummy) and I would rather be home alone baking on a Saturday night than out at the movies.

Oh, and I wear SKIRTS now!  And SUNDRESSES!  When did THAT happen?!

But the sad truth is, now that I enjoy all these domestic pursuits so much more than I ever thought I would, who do I have to share them with?  I get in the mood to make something, and lose my motivation halfway through, because what's the point?  I'm a nomad.  I haven't lived in the same place for more than a year in 5 years.  Anything I make, I'll just have to find a place for in the already crowded apartment.  The kitchen is small, and every time I go on a baking spree I take up two whole rooms, and get in everyone's way.  When I make dinner, I make enough to feed a small army, and most of it simply goes to waste.

What happened to me?

And what do you do with yourself when you're a homeless housewife?

Zombies ... RUN!

Some people enjoy running on treadmills at the gym, surrounded by machinery and juice bar temptations. Others run outside, on trails or along the side of the road, listening to their favorite music.

And some of us like to run through deserted, post-apocalyptic townships with the sound of radio transmissions in our ears and a small army of angry zombies chasing after us.

I don't often pay money for apps, but "Zombies, Run!" is completely worth it. For someone like me who hates running, turning every jog into an adventure is one of the best motivations.  The game mixes your workout playlist with a series of radio transmissions, and as you run you receive instructions from your superiors, pick up supplies, and occasionally get chased by zombies.

The app uses GPS tracking on your phone when you're running outside (or an accelerometor that measures your steps if you're at the gym) to track how far and how fast you're going. If you don't pick up the pace when the zombies appear, they WILL catch you!

Of course, I may have several unusual experiences with this game ... I tend to commit to the story line a bit too much, and run like my life is actually depending on it when I'm being chased ... In fact, if anyone happened to be watching my first ever "Zombies, Run" experience, they were in for a laugh.

It was last fall, and I was running through my parents' neighborhood. Taking it slow and easy, listening to the radio transmissions, proud of myself for getting in shape.  And then, just as the voice in my ear yelled, "Run, RUN!" a neighborhood dog popped out of nowhere and started yapping its head off. I had already gotten so wrapped up in the story that it scared the crap out of me, and I ran like a bat out of hell. I don't think I stopped running for about six blocks.

So take your boring, everyday runs and spice them up with the undead! Even with the slight trauma that results from coupling this game with an over-active imagination, it's worth it.

Sequins and Sneakers

In the last two and a half days I have baked two kinds of cupcakes, three kinds of cookies, pumpkin muffins, apple strudel, a variety of fruit tarts and two types of cheesecake.  All in preparation for the fancy gala at the theatre.  For those of you who don't know, back in November I got a second job at a children's theatre in Orlando.  It's called "In the Limelight," and it now owns a very large part of my soul.  I spend every Saturday there, helping with rehearsals and anything else I can get my hands on.  The theatre junkie in me would never leave the building if it could, but unfortunately the Disney addict part of me (as well as the demands of everyday life) call me away, and I don't get to spend nearly as much time there as I would like.  I haven't been a part of the company for very long, but I already love it there.

Needless to say, the time since I joined In the Limelight has been more than a little hectic.  I have spent my days at Disney, my nights drowning in fabric, and all the in-betweens writing my heart out.  There have been several weeks where I go straight from an 8-hour Disney shift to an all-night theatre shift, frantically trying to change clothes in my car and eating whatever snacks I can find in my bag.  And if you know me at all, you know that this is pretty much as perfect as life can get :)

Which brings us to the gala, and the 38-hours worth of dessert that I voluntarily provided.  In fact, may or may not have begged to be allowed to provide.  The gala itself was amazing.  A spectacular awards show, complete with red carpet and paparazzi, performances to break up the awards announcements, and everyone dressed to impress.  Including yours truly.

But, of course, at the end of a long day, trailing at the end of an even longer week, the last thing I want to do is wear four-inch heels for six hours.  You'd better believe that the second the last guest closed the door behind them, the sneakers went back on!  And so, the end of the night found me carrying cupcake trays back to my car in my sparkly party dress ... and running shoes.  Ultimate classy broad right here.

For now, everything is as it should be.  And that's good enough for me.

"When nothing goes right ... go left."

When I got married, my whole life was set out before me.  School, children, the whole package.  It was a simple enough plan, and I was happy with it.

When my marriage ended, the plan changed.  Now, my goal was simply to be happy again.  After that, when my mom got sick, things started unraveling faster than I could keep up.  Nothing was stable, nothing was sure, and I've never been the type to handle change very well.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that Disney saved me.  It gave me a series of simple goals, things I could handle: Survive the College Program.  Find a place to live once it was finished.  Keep my job.  Make magic.  And I am grateful for it every single day.

But even here, things change.  Disney is sometimes the only thing that is stable.  Housing situations change.  Financial problems arise. Hearts are broken, opportunities missed, and it's far too easy to drown in the panic that comes with knowing how close you are to falling apart.

But I haven't fallen apart.  Not yet.  Because something happened shortly after I moved down here, a little more than a year ago : I finally started becoming the person I always wanted to be.  Someone who could handle change.  Someone who could bounce back.  A fighter.  A survivor.

I've been through more in the last two years than most women my age have to cope with in a decade.  And I'm at peace with it.  All of it.  I want to be the type who can fight through the hard times and come out on the other side a stronger person.  I want to have the courage to follow new paths.  When nothing goes right ... I want to be brave enough to go left.

Somebody know me too well ...

I went back to Virginia a couple of weeks ago ... It was beautiful, and terrible all at once.  There's no easy way to dive back into a painful past.  Memories and feelings will resurface.  And, in my case, you might be forced to deal with some things you've been avoiding for almost a year.  And when Brayden and I finally got a chance to talk face-to-face, we finally realized exactly where we were.

The marriage didn't work.  But the relationship did.  And when you've already married your best friend, how can anything else ever come close again?

That's the fear.  It's not that I'll die alone, or I won't find someone who makes me happy ... it's wondering if I'll ever find someone who knows me that well ever again.  Someone who loves me for all of my little annoying quirks, and knows how to deal with them.  Someone who makes long road trips fun.  Someone who knows my darkest side, but can still bring out the best in me. I just want someone to know me again, even better than I know myself.  And I'm scared every day that no one is ever going to want to. And even more scared that one day someone will, and I won't trust them enough to let them in.

As always, the music says it better than I ever could 

Christmas Spirit

Christmas music, movies, decorations ... they hold a special fascination for me. But, I am very strict about when I can indulge in any Christmas traditions. The day after Thanksgiving, that's when the movies come out and the music comes on. Just ask Brayden ... we fought about this almost monthly.

Christmas Spirit is a very big deal to me, and it's weird, but I've developed this quirk over the years where if I'm watching Christmas movies or listening to Christmas music at any other time of year, it means I'm incredibly depressed. It's a mark of how bad things are when I'm watching "The Santa Clause" in mid-August.

I'm not quite sure why this happens. Maybe it's because the holiday season is my very favorite time of year, and I get really depressed when it's over. And then I get antsy waiting for it to start again. Holidays are very special to me, and I don't like to have them tainted or ruined in any way, so I keep them tucked away in their proper month, and throw myself into the holiday spirit when it FINALLY comes around.

But at times like these, when I'm so blue that I don't even care, when I'm already in a rather melancholy place ... sometimes, a little dose of Christmas spirit cheers me up.

Happy Monday (Part II)

Kids on Marriage (and Dating)

How do you decide who to marry?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." ~Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." ~Kristen, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." ~Camille, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." ~Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." ~Derrick, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." ~Lynnette, age 8

"On a first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." ~Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." ~Craig, age 9

When is it OK to kiss someone?

"When they're rich." ~Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." ~Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." ~Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out." ~Theodore, age 8

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." ~Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn't get married?

"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" ~Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?

"Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck." ~Ricky, age 10

Happy Monday :)

"A first-grade school teacher had 26 students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the saying."

1) Don't change horses ... until they stop running
2) Strike while the ... bug is close
3) It's always darkest before ... Daylight Savings Time
4) Never underestimate the power of ... termites
5) You can lead a horse to water but ... how?
6) Don't bite the hand that ... looks dirty
7) No news is ... impossible
8) A miss is as good as a ... Mr.
9) You can't teach an old dog new ... math
10) If you lie down with dogs, you'l ... stink in the morning
11) Love all, trust ... me
12) The pen is mightier than the ... pigs
13) An idle mind is ... the best way to relax
14) Where there's smoke there's ... pollution
15) Happy the bride who ... gets all the presents
16) A penny saved is ... not much
17) Two's company, three's ... the Musketeers
18) Don't put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed
19) Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ... you have to blow your nose
20) There are none so blind as ... Stevie Wonder
21) Children should be seen and not ... spanked or grounded
22) If at first you don't succeed ... get new batteries
23) You only get out of something what you ... see in the picture on the box
24) When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way
25) A bird in the hand ... is going to poop on you
26) Better late than ... pregnant

Star Wars World vs The Real World

For those of you who don't know, the Jedi Training Academy at Hollywood Studios is a wonderful little show where children learn the ways of the Force. They are taught a simple little combination with their light-sabers, and then they fight Darth Vader to complete their training.

Recently, the ending of the show was altered so that the entire group of little ones (with the help of the Jedi Master) "Force-Push" Vader. Which is thrilling when you're a little kid (and, let's be honest, most of us grown-ups would be just as thrilled to participate.) But this new ending brought about a heated discussion about what would actually be possible in the Star Wars World.

"I'm just saying, there's no way that a group of Younglings who had just been trained would be able to Force-Push Vader. It just wouldn't be possible! I don't care how strong they are!"

... I'm sorry, what? Let's just for a moment disregard the fact that Darth Vader is patiently squaring off against each individual child (and that they all manage to defeat him one way or another, despite the fact that most of them don't remember their training combination.) Let's ignore the fact that our Jedi Masters regularly make ridiculously corny anachronistic jokes that have no place in a galaxy far, far away.

Bypass all of that, and still, all I have to say is this : does it look like we're too concerned with reality here?!

The above is a clip from this year's Hyperspace Hoopla. A magical show of wonder and awesome that I can't even begin to describe.  And as it clearly proves, keeping the reality of Star Wars World alive is at the very top of our priority list.

May the Force be With You. Always.

The Good News Daily

Here's the thing : I have all of my limbs. My mother is not dead. I have a job I love, friends I adore, and a whole new world of shining possibilities.

So why am I complaining? Yeah, things are hard. But they're not nearly as hard as they could be.

And so, for the next week at least, I'm trying something new. Every day, right here, there will be something GOOD. A smile, a laugh, a funny story. No divorce. No cancer. No complaints :)

"The Good News Daily. Nothing but good news every day. 'No Civil War in Canada,' big article. 'Cars Drive Down Road Without Incident,' front-page news. 'Puppies -- How Cute are They?' In-depth expose." 

* to those of you who get the reference, this is why we're friends.

We are starting right now with possibly one of the most brilliant ventriloquist acts I have ever seen. Take a few minutes out of your crazy Saturday and watch. I promise it's worth it!

And now, off to dance with Stitch and friends. And get paid for it. Love and laughter <3

In my continuing effort to figure out who I am as a single person, rather than as a unit, I give you the following  list of Things That Most People Don't Know About Me :

• I am fascinated by erosion, and always have been. As a kid, I tried to create a river in my backyard by letting the outdoor spigot run for about an hour every day. I figured, if the water kept running in the same place, carving the same path day after day, eventually I would wear it down enough to hit a natural water table and ... well, as you might imagine, it didn't exactly work out.
• I have never seen an "original" James Bond film. The only two I've ever seen are the new Daniel Craig movies.
• Pregnancy photos freak me out.
• My first celebrity crush was Will Smith in MIB.
• I secretly long for a relationship just like the one in "The Mummy."  Handsome rogue, beautifully stubborn woman, exotic adventures ... the actual mummies I could probably do without, but hey! At least their life is always interesting!
• Office Depot is one of my favorite stores in the world.
• I would happily rehearse for a show on any given holiday. Theatre is my all-consuming passion, and one of the few things in life I would give up almost everything else for.
• I can not make toast. I have no idea why.
• I used to be scared to death of the characters at Disney. Like, terrified. And yes, I do see the glaring irony in my life right now.
• I get far too invested in the lives of fictional characters. For instance: even as a kid, I hated Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Why? Because in the scene where Dick Van Dyke's invention makes a delicious breakfast for everyone, the character of the grandfather got nothing but a raw, brown egg. And I was heartbroken for him.
• It's quirks like that last one that legitimately make me wonder HOW I ever got married in the first place, and seriously doubt that I ever will again.
• I collect dragonflies.
• I grew up thinking I was half black. My dad had much darker skin when I was little (Cherokee in the bloodlines) and so I was convinced that I was half-and-half. And I wondered if my little brother would look black or white when he was born. It was at this point that my mother realized my mistake and corrected me. I still say I've got soul in there somewhere.
• I desperately want to be a spy. But the next best thing would be guest-starring on an episode of Burn Notice. Dear Matt Nix : You are brilliant, your show is amazing, I would happily pay you to let me be on it. Much love :)
• If ever I get into film, I would like to do my own stunts.
• I don't understand the mustache fad.

di.vorce (n)

1) the legal dissolution of a marriage
2) a complete or radical severance of closely connected things

Changing your name. Changing your Facebook relationship status. Referring to yourself as "divorced" instead of "in the middle of a divorce..."  Just another day in the life of your average 22-year-old divorcee.  The adjustment isn't as hard as I thought it would be.  In fact, it's just one less thing I have hanging over my head at the moment, which is a relief.  Something in my life is finally resolved.

And now, it's time to pick up the pieces of my life and move on. But here's the thing : which pieces are actually me, and which pieces are just the circumstances of my life ... things I can just leave behind now?  Brayden and I discussed this once, about how he wondered if he wanted to be a doctor, of if we wanted him to be a doctor. In the end, he decided that it was truly something he wanted, and that was a piece of our marriage he took with him. So which pieces do I take?

Not quite sure where to start ...