When I got married, my whole life was set out before me. School, children, the whole package. It was a simple enough plan, and I was happy with it.
When my marriage ended, the plan changed. Now, my goal was simply to be happy again. After that, when my mom got sick, things started unraveling faster than I could keep up. Nothing was stable, nothing was sure, and I've never been the type to handle change very well.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that Disney saved me. It gave me a series of simple goals, things I could handle: Survive the College Program. Find a place to live once it was finished. Keep my job. Make magic. And I am grateful for it every single day.
But even here, things change. Disney is sometimes the only thing that is stable. Housing situations change. Financial problems arise. Hearts are broken, opportunities missed, and it's far too easy to drown in the panic that comes with knowing how close you are to falling apart.
But I haven't fallen apart. Not yet. Because something happened shortly after I moved down here, a little more than a year ago : I finally started becoming the person I always wanted to be. Someone who could handle change. Someone who could bounce back. A fighter. A survivor.
I've been through more in the last two years than most women my age have to cope with in a decade. And I'm at peace with it. All of it. I want to be the type who can fight through the hard times and come out on the other side a stronger person. I want to have the courage to follow new paths. When nothing goes right ... I want to be brave enough to go left.
