This is why I need to learn to speak Spanish

411 -- Directory Assistance.

I never use it, because it is $1.99 every time, and I just don't have that kind of money. (The sad life of a starving artist)

But yesterday, my mother needed me to use it. Said she'd pay that part of the bill, I just needed to get the number for the smoothie shop (Red Mango! Trust me, at some point it will get its own post ...) and we'd be on our way.

Dialed, got the robotic and only slightly terrifying "Press ONE for English"

... and I pressed two. Finger slipped, I have no excuse other than basic human error, but yes. I pressed the wrong number.  And, apparently, TWO is telephone-speak for SPANISH.

I do not speak Spanish. At "Hola" I hung up. Panicked, and just hung up.

Dialed again ... and here's the fun part : once you pick a language, APPARENTLY you can't change it! They no longer offered me the language/number option, they just kicked me over to Spanish! And, again, I panicked. And hung up. SIX TIMES this happened!

I apologize to all of the Spanish-speaking operators that I hung up on yesterday, but I don't handle these things very well. Clearly.

Also, I apologize to my mother. Yes, you will be paying for each of those 411 calls. It was your idea, and now I can never use directory assistance ever again. At least, not until I learn to speak Spanish.