It sucks when something completely insignificant can make me drop all attempts to think positively. When I got up this morning, I was going to have a good day. It was decided. I got up early, had a good well-rounded breakfast, and I was feeling wonderful! Everything was going to be OK ...
And then something happened. What it was isn't important. In fact, there is no reason something so trivial should have set me off this way. But the fact of the matter is, it did. And, quite suddenly, all of my carefully harnessed positive attitude vanished in a hailstorm of emotional mess.
Everything is not OK. And I don't want to talk about things, because it makes me feel weak and like I'm begging for sympathy. But, at the same time, I just want to stop smiling for once.
I don't, of course ... no one at work had the slightest inkling ... they never do. I just keep smiling on the outside.
You are not begging for sympathy, nor are you weak. Honestly, you make the rest of us look weak. You are going through a lot of hard things right now. My completely unsolicited advice? If you don't want to talk to people, at least talk to the Lord. I'm still praying for you, your mom, and the rest of your family. You are amazing. Never forget that!
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